We had a curious day at the house today. Started out normal…Mommy and Daddy juggling work and Sullivan watching. Everything was going smooth until I heard a strange noise coming from the living room and I got up from my computer to go check it out and when I got to the doorway Sullivan was standing there rubbing and scraping two things together with his hands. I wasn’t sure what they were at first so I got down to get a better look and realized it was two glass trinkets from our china closet. (he had climbed up on some pillows and opened the china cabinet doors and taken out one sentimental item of mine and one of Damon’s and was playing with them)Shocked and startled that he was playing with some very sentimental items I screamed which led Sullivan to toss one of the items into the air which then crashed and broke onto the floor. This of course upset Sullivan and he started to cry. But there was something very different about the cry. It was like he really understood that he had done something wrong and felt genuinely bad. And big crocodile tears came streaming down his face and it took him some time to calm down. Damon and I had to reassure him that we knew he didn’t mean to break them and that I was sorry for screaming and then everything was fine…..UNTIL…later on this morning Sullivan and I were out playing in my car. He likes to play pretend driving and sits in the front seat and explores all the console buttons. Well I stepped out of the car for a second to take something into the house. The car was off and I thought how much trouble can he get into in 10 seconds (yes, I know when will I learn THAT lesson) but sure enough as I was coming back out of the house to get back in the car with him he was climbing from the back seat to the front seat and I could hear this crushing sound and when I opened the back seat door he was using the cup holders as a stool and broke them right out of their compartment. Again, I yelled to try and get his foot off before the final damage was done then pulled him out of the car and poor Sullivan stood there again weeping BIG tears saying “I broke it, I broke it, I’m sorry Mommy, sorry, sorry, sorry”. He was really sad and sorry about breaking the darn cup holders. Like our son experienced guilt today for the first time and it was really really sad for him. Broke my heart. I know these probably don’t seem like enormous life moments to everyone but to us they felt really new and interesting. Sullivan is developing more complex emotions and thinking and as hard as it is to see sometimes cause you hate to see him cry it was also quite wonderful to watch him grasp an emotion at a deeper level. …WHICH also reminds me that last night while laying on the foof watching Toy Story together I glanced over at the mirror and noticed that Sullivan wasn’t watching the movie at all….he was staring at ME. He had this kind of love struck look in his eyes and I smiled back at him and said “I Love You” and his faced beamed with excitement and he leaned forward lips puckered, made the mmmmm sound and gave me a big kiss right on the lips! Of course we have had sweet exchanges similar to these before but again there was a maturity about it last night that I had not experienced before. I think I will remember that moment for the rest of my life. His limited language abilities prevent him from being able to tell me everything these days but last night his behavior told me in the most honest and genuine way that he really loves me and for a gal who has been struggling with this mom thing that was THE most precious thing he could have ever “said”.
Guess our little boy is growing emotionally……